oh drama, thy name is life, and i am in you thouroghly

Im doing happy

conflict is my heart and mind, without them, I am not myself, without them, i am not John. With them however, i will never enjoy the company of anyone who understands me, because not only do the have to understand me, they have to at least tolerate my conflict, and I dont even understand my conflicts, how can I expect anyone to tolerate the unexplained and potentially hurtful. I cant...

Well its tricky. cause its my life, and that makes it tricky. Sometimes, I think there is someone in charge of my life that really enjoys watching me hope , and hope so hard, and then begin to believe that possibly this hope and belief can come to pass. Then they totally obliterate any chance of it coming to pass, and they watch me crumble to peices, cause without hope, I am hopeless.(redundant but true) lol life is...hard especially when you feel alone, and you know you shouldnt feel alone. But she just doesnt see me the right way, and it makes me feel invisible.

I started rereading breaking dawn, and started crying, thinking of you. Cause I'm like Jacob, and you're my bella. I love you more than words can express. And just like Jacob my hearts falls to peices when I think of you, because you're so happy without me. you are the blood in my veins, unlike Jacob however I dont see me finding anyone in the future to love. So live your happy life without me, let me be misreble because I'll never have you.